I Did Not Know What To Say Blog

Posts Tagged ‘What to say to someone grieving’

It’s About How You LIVE – Taking The Fear Out Of Conversations About Advance Care Planning, Serious Illness and End of Life Care.

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on October 2, 2017

My interview will air on Tuesday, October 3.

I am honored to have been invited to be a part of a wonderful telesummit that began airing September 15 called,

It’s About How You LIVE – Taking The Fear Out Of Conversations About Advance Care Planning, Serious Illness and End of Life Care.

You will have free access to my interview which is called, “What to Say…When You Don’t Know What to Say”. Along with my interview, you will also have access to 20 other experts in their respective fields speaking about topics including-

  • Advance Care Planning
  • Care Giving
  • Serious Illness and Palliative Care
  • Hospice and End of Life Care
  • Grief

If you are a medical professional, a care giver, someone who has a serious illness, someone grieving a loss, or if you are simply interested in learning more about these topics, this telesummit is for YOU! If you don’t like to talk, or even think, about some of these topics, if you struggle getting your loved ones to talk about these topics, or if you are ready to take the fear out of discussing these important topics, this telesummit is for YOU!

Each of the 21 experts are passionate about their field, and after hearing their interviews, you will walk away amazed at the amount of valuable information you learned. This is a unique opportunity to learn from the best of the best, so please be sure to take advantage of this free event by registering today. Just click here to register now! www.itsabouthowyoulive.com

I am excited to share my interview with you, as well as the other 20 interviews from this distinguished group of experts. Register today, and share this with your family and friends as well. We want everyone to have the opportunity to listen and learn from this amazing group because… It’s About How You LIVE!

All the best to you! See you at the telesummit! Click here to register – www.itsabouthowyoulive.com

Lori Pederson – www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com

Founder, I Did Not Know What To Say

My interview will air on Tuesday, October 3.

Posted in Caregiver, Funeral Planning, Grief Resources, Grief Support Discussion Topics, Hospice/Palliative Care, Planning For A Future Without You, What Not To Say, What Not to Say to a Grieving Loved One, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Virtual Book Tour – Interview with Robbie Miller Kaplan, Author of “How to Say It® When You Don’t Know What to Say”

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on July 25, 2011

Thank you for joining us on our Virtual Book Tour.

Today we welcome Robbie Miller Kaplan, Author of  How to Say It® When You Don’t Know What to Say.  Robbie’s interview offers many insights and practical suggestions on how to express your sympathy to a grieving loved one.

Please feel free to comment or share your own experiences on how your friends and family have assisted you in restoring balance in your life after the loss of a loved one in the comment section below. 

1.           What inspired you to write the book How to Say It® When You Don’t Know What to Say?

 I faced a number of difficult experiences and some folks said some insensitive things that were hurtful. I realized over time that people didn’t mean to say inappropriate things; they just were at a loss for words and didn’t know what to say. I decided to write a book to demonstrate how you can be supportive by saying and doing things that would be helpful and healing, not hurtful.

2.           Is there any one thing that your family or friends did for you that assisted you through the grieving process?  (i.e. a special card someone sent you, a favorite place they took you, listened when you needed support, etc.) 

When you’ve experienced a loss, you need to tell your story over and over again to make sense of it. This can be really hard for many people to do; the tendency is to say, “You’ve already told me that.” Several friends and family members gave me the gift of listening. They allowed me to vent and they listened to the same stories and frustrations. It was their support that helped me through the toughest times. 

3.           Our website focuses on providing tips to friends and family members on how to support a loved one through the grieving process.  What would be your top three suggestions on how to positively support a loved one that is grieving? 

 a.      Keep in touch by phone, cards, notes, and e-mail. Even if you get no response, keep sending notes and e-mails. Grief is so debilitating the bereaved may not be able to respond, but your care and kindness will mean so much to them.

b.       Ask, “What can I do to help?” But only do so if you are willing to do whatever is asked.

c.       When they’re comfortable and willing to talk, listen and be fully present. No interruptions, no personal stories or comments. Focus your attention solely on the bereaved. 

4.           What is one thing you would like your readers to take away from your books?

You don’t need to make grand gestures to make a difference. Decide on one or two things that you’re comfortable doing and do them for everyone. For example, ask if you can do an errand at the pharmacy along with your own or pick up a rotisserie chicken and a bag of salad when you do your grocery shopping. Simple, helpful gestures mean a lot to the bereaved. 

5.           What do you want our readers to know about you and your books?

I know first-hand how difficult it is to deal with a family member’s difficult illness or the death of a loved one. I feel very passionate about the importance of helping and supporting not just family members and friends but colleagues, neighbors, and community members. It can be intimidating to reach out to someone dealing with a terrible loss. My writing focuses on the importance of doing a kindness, but also on simple suggestions that are easy to implement.  My philosophy is one kind and thoughtful deed can make a world of difference to someone experiencing loss. Wouldn’t you want to be that person that makes a difference? 

6.           Do you plan to write any additional books in the future? 

If there was a topic I felt needed to be addressed, I would consider it.


Robbie has had a long and extremely interesting road to becoming a successful author. When she started out writing career and job search books, she had no idea she would eventually write about loss and grief.  It’s Robbie’s personal experience and her desire to make a difference in the lives of those grieving a loss that motivated her to write How to Say It® When You Don’t Know What to Say. Her book is now available in print volumes for Illness & Death, Suicide, Miscarriage, and e-books for Death of a Child, Death of a Stillborn or Newborn Baby, Pet Loss, Caregiver Responsibilities, and Divorce. All are available for the Amazon Kindle.

Visit Robbie at http://www.wordsthatcomfort.com or contact Robbie at wordsthathelp@gmail.com

Posted in Grief Resources - Newsletter, Share Your Story, Virtual Book Tour, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »