I Did Not Know What To Say Blog

Posts Tagged ‘sympathy flowers’

How to Choose a Thoughtful Sympathy Gift

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on October 3, 2011

The grieving process can be as unique as ones finger print. Each person brings to the journey their individual personality, their connection with the person that passed away, their religious/spiritual beliefs, their feelings about death, and their life experiences. When it comes to choosing a thoughtful sympathy gift one size does not fit all.

Finding the perfect sympathy gift to express your deep concern and provide the recipient with a lasting gift that honors the memory of their loved one, is not an easy task but not an impossible one.

As you consider what might be an appropriate sympathy gift for your loved one, here are a few things to consider:

1. What are their religious beliefs? If they are religious, take a few minutes to consider the customs and norms of their religion. Some religions have specific beliefs about giving gifts after the death of a loved one. If they are not religious, be sure to stay away from religious gifts that may offend them. Remember, this is a time to be supportive, not a time to push your own belief system.

Gift Idea: I received a beautiful Angel with a candle that includes Psalm 27: 1 – The Lord is My Light and Salvation. This Angel sits next to my bed and I am reminded that through lives ups and downs I am not alone.

2. What are the circumstances? The cause of death and the significance of the relationship between your friend and the deceased are important factors to consider when choosing a sympathy gift.

Gift Idea: A friend that lost a pet may appreciate a stepping stone with the animal’s name on it to place in their garden. A mother that is grieving the loss of her child may welcome a thoughtful journal and a personalized memory box with the child’s name inscribed. Sending flowers and being a good listener to a husband whose wife has been murdered may be the best way to offer your support.

3. What is their age? A grandmother may want a different type of gift than a friend in her twenties.

Gift Idea: When my mother passed away a good friend of mind gave me a Calvin & Hobbs cartoon book. Life was so heavy at the time that having something that made me laugh was just what I needed. I was 25 when my passed away and for me it was the perfect gift.

4. What is their gender? Gender plays a big part in the type of gift that is appropriate. A male friend may enjoy a round of golf with you much more than a candle or a piece of jewelry.

5. What do they enjoy? Try to find activities that bring them joy and help them reconnect with life. A relaxing day at a spa, an enjoyable afternoon at a baseball game, or a nice afternoon tea, are just a few gifts that you can share with your loved one.

Gift Idea: A few weeks after my mom passed away, my friends took me on a trip to Disneyland. What a wonderful gift this was to help bring joy back into my life.

6. Do they have any allergies or food restrictions? When choosing a food gift basket or if bringing food to the family, be sure to check to see if they have any food allergies or are on a restrictive diet. You don’t want to buy a bottle of wine for someone that does not drink. Or bring peanut butter cookies to someone that is allergic to peanuts.

Gift Idea: Don’t have time to cook, Sympathy Food can provide a complete nutritious meal to a grieving family.

7. Do they have pictures in their home or scrapbooks? If your friend enjoys displaying memories in their home, a personalized picture frame or a decorative scrapbook that they can keep mementos in may be an appreciate gift.

8. What type book will reach them? If choosing a book, consider the stage of grief your friend is in. The first few months after a loss can be extremely difficult and it may be difficult to concentrate. Books that are easy to digest and provide coping skills by people in similar situations may be best.

Gift Idea: I received a very meaningful, yet simple book after my mother passed called “How to Survive the Loss of a Love”.

9. Think outside the box. Gifts don’t need to be traditional; they can be as unique as your imagination.

Gift Idea: When my friend Dan passed away I could not afford the last minute airfare to attend the funeral. A friend of mind paid for my ticket using his frequent flyer miles.

10. Offer your support. Some people don’t need or want trinkets, books or movies; they just want a friend that will be there with a listening ear, a hug, and a warm heart.

Buying a special gift basket, inspirational book, customized picture frame, memorial ornament, or sending flowers to a grieving loved one can brighten their day and lift their spirits during a difficult time.

For more Thoughtful Gift ideas, visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html

© 2011 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website created to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process. If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

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FLOWERS, FLOWERS, FLOWERS…What To Do With All The Flowers?

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on August 17, 2009

First let me say that I love flowers. I love fresh cut flowers, planted flowers and pictures of flowers. I love receiving flowers and planting them in my garden.

The only time in my life when I did not enjoy flowers was after my mother passed away. For anyone that has lost an immediate family member they know that the first thing people think to do is send flowers. This is a lovely gesture. People think “a beautiful boutique of flowers” will brighten their day. However, in some circumstances, having an overwhelming amount of flower arrangements can become hard to manage for the family.

After my mother passed away, I found that the flowers that were beautiful the first few days started to make me sad as they began to fade. It was a reminder of the death I just experienced. When I returned home I felt this overwhelming need to plant flowers that would last, a need to bring new life into my home.

Why Flowers May Not Be the Perfect Gift

• If the funeral service is held in another city, it leaves the family with the burden of taking care of flowers that will die while they are out of town.

• If the person has been cremated, an overwhelming number of flower arrangements can become hard to manage if there is not a burial site to place them on.

• Cut flowers die rather quickly and to watch flowers dying all around can be depressing after the loss of a loved one.

What to Do With All the Flowers?

After my aunt passed away my uncle’s dinning room was filled with flowers. They were nice for a few days but my aunt was cremated and there was no grave site to place them on. Instead of allowing the flowers to go to waste, they donated them to a local hospital to bring joy to the patients.

A Different Way to Send Flowers

• Purchase a plant or flower that can be planted and offer to help them set-up a memorial garden for their loved one in their home or backyard.

• Coordinate with the family to help them buy one or two nice floral arrangements for the funeral or memorial service.

• Have a few flowers incased in a decorative frame along with a picture of the person that has passed away as a memorial to the person.

• If the funeral is out of town, consider sending flowers directly to the funeral home or church where the service will be held.

• For more ideas, visit our Thoughtful Gifts page at http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html.

If you have a suggestion, we would love to hear from you. If you are a Florist’s we would love to hear your suggestions as well. Please email us at info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com

© 2009 Lori Pederson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website built to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process. If you would like our Free Newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

 Please visit our Thoughtful Gift Ideas page on our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html for more gift ideas.

Posted in Inspiration, Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »