I Did Not Know What To Say Blog

Posts Tagged ‘memorial pet gifts’

Loss of a Beloved Pet – How to Bring Comfort to a Grieving Friend

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on April 2, 2013

Image Loss of a Beloved Pet – How to Bring Comfort to a Grieving Friend  

My companion growing up was a beautiful Golden Retriever Collie mix named Red. Red was my first pet to pass away and I was devastated. I remember starting to cry when I was at school and my friends did not seem to understand why I was showing such deep emotions for the loss of my dog. Although they did not understand, I knew what a big part he had played in my life and I felt a bit lost without him. He was my friend, my protector and my companion. 

Animal people know that a pet can truly become a part of the family and their passing can be as devastating as losing a dear friend. A pet provides unconditional love and companionship. They are always excited to see you when you come home, they are by your side when you are sick, and they listen to you when no one else will. When a pet passes away they truly leave a void in the lives of those who loved them. 

If you would like to bring comfort to a grieving pet owner, here are a few ideas you may want to consider:

Ways to Offer Your Support 

  • Listen Without Judgment.  Today, pets play an important part in the lives of their owners and their loss can be very painful. If you are a non-pet person, you may think it is strange that your friend is expressing such deep feelings for the loss of their pet. But if you take the time to listen, you will most likely find that their pet was their companion and friend.
  • Acknowledge the Loss. Understand that the loss of a pet can be significant and should not be disregarded as inconsequential. Acknowledging their loss and extending your sympathy can bring comfort to your friend. Send a card or give them a call to let them know you understand that this is an important loss in their life. A note might include the following: “We were saddened to hear of  Panther’s passing. You gave him companionship, comfort and warmth throughout his life. We will remember his joyful spirit. We are so sorry for your loss.”
  • Don’t be Afraid to talk about the animal. Sharing stories about a beloved pet that has passed away is a normal and a therapeutic way to heal. Allow your friend to talk about their memories and don’t be afraid to mention the animal’s name or share your own fond memories of the pet.
  • Give a Hug. A simple hug can go a long way. When my cat Harley passed away a few years ago, I remember becoming very emotional one morning. My niece, who saw that I was upset, came up to me and gave me a generous hug. I was grateful that she  was willing to be there for me in a loving way. 

Thoughtful Pet Sympathy Gift Ideas 

  • Show you care by sending a donation to an animal shelter or charity in memory of the pet that passed away.
  • Personalize a frame with a poem and a favorite picture of the animal.
  • Help your friend create a pet sanctuary in their backyard with plants and a memorial garden stone to honor the memory of their beloved pet.
  • Create a pet remembrance box with the pet’s name, picture and keepsake items.
  • Send your friend a Pet Memorial Ornament to remember their pet during the holidays. 
  • Visit our website for more Thoughtful Pet Sympathy Gift Ideas – http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts-petmemorials.html

What Is Not Helpful?

Often friends and family try to lessen the deep emotions of grief by offering what they may feel are valid and rational responses to the loss of a pet. However, these responses can be hurtful and can disregard the pet owner’s feelings. Here are a few sayings to try to avoid:  

  • Don’t be sad, you can always get another pet.
  • It is just a pet, why are you so upset?
  • I can’t believe you spent so much money on treatment for your pet.
  • It has been a couple of weeks, why are you still upset?
  • Why would you spend money to have your pet cremated and put in an Urn, the Vet can just take care of it for you for free.  

And a special note to the non-pet lovers… we ask you to remember that your friends that love the furry creatures of the world may be experiencing a loss without their pet. Kind words and your thoughtfulness during the grieving process are always appreciated.    

I have always been deeply grateful for the unconditional love my pets have given me and those that have passed away will always hold a special place in my heart. If you have a Pet story you would like to share, we would love to hear from you.    

For more resources, please visit our website at http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/inspiration-loss-of-pet.html.  Have a suggestion or resource you would like us to include on our website?  Email us at info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com or include a comment below.

©2013 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website created to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a loved one through the grieving process. If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a loved one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

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Posted in Grief Resources, Grief Resources - Newsletter, Grief Support Discussion Topics, Loss of a Pet | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts & Holiday Memorial Ornaments

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on November 26, 2010

Thoughtful Sympathy Gift Ideas

Special Savings for the Holidays on Black Friday, Cyber Monday and throughout December on selected gift items.

 Be sure to visit our Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts page on our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html for special offers and discount codes!

Christian Memorial Gifts
Design Your Own Gift Baskets
Kindnotes
Memorial Gifts
Memorial Ornaments
Memorial Quilts & Throws
Memorial Trees
Military Memorial Gifts
Miscarriage/Stillbirth Memorial Gifts 
Personalized Memorial Frames
Personalized gift items
Pet Memorials
Remembrance Candles
Spa Gift Certificates
Unique Gift Items
And More…

Don’t Forget to Sign Up for our Free Monthly Newsletter !
http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/mailinglist.html

Our Newsletter includes tips, articles and inspirational stories on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one.
Plus
You will receive my FREE Special Report, “Twenty-Five Supportive Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One ~ Plus Ten Thoughtful Gift Ideas”

Posted in Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Thoughtful Memorial Gift Ideas for Mother’s Day & Memorial Day!

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on April 16, 2010

 Be sure to visit our Thoughtful Sympathy & Memorial Gifts page on our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html for special discounts for Mother’s Day!

Special Mother’s Day Memorial Gift Ideas
Memorial Quilts & Throws
Military Memorial Gifts
Special Keepsake Gifts for a Miscarriage

Design You Own Gift Baskets
Personalized Memorial Frames
Personalized gift items
Pet Memorials
KindNotes to leave throughout the year

Christian Sympathy Cards & Gifts
Unique Gift Items
Inspirational Movies & Books

And More…

Don’t Forget to Sign Up for our Free Monthly Newsletter !
http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/mailinglist.html

Our Newsletter includes tips, articles and inspirational stories on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one.
Plus
You will receive my FREE Special Report, “Twenty-Five Supportive Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One ~ Plus Ten Thoughtful Gift Ideas”

Posted in Loss of a Child, Loss of a Mother, Military Loss, Miscarriage, Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

What To Say… When You Don’t Know What To Say by Lori Pederson

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on October 12, 2009

When my mother passed away, I received a card from a friend of mine that touched me so deeply I can still remember it 16 years later.  The card was humorous and the note he wrote was the perfect balance of empathy, humor and reality.  You see Chris had lost his father about a month before I had lost my mom and he knew intimately what I was going through.  This card was the cornerstone to developing the website www.IDidNotKnowWhatToSay.com.   I wanted to encourage people to be thoughtful and supportive of their friends and family when they are going through a great loss.  The topic of death is difficult and many people “freeze” when the subject comes up.  Our website is dedicated to helping you find the words when you don’t know what to say.
 
Put your heart into it.  There are many ways to express your deep concern and support for a friend or family member when they have lost a loved one.  I have found that when you put your heart into what you write it makes all the difference.  One of the cards I received simply said, “I just wanted you to know that I have been thinking about you all week, and I will keep you in my prayers.”  It was from a friend’s mother that I did not know very well, but I was so touched that she would take the time to send a card.  I could feel the love and sincerity in the note and it made a lasting impression on me.

Know your audience.  People have many belief systems when it comes to death, grief and the burial process.  Religion, culture, family experiences, personality, the age of the person and their gender can all impact how they handle the grieving process.  It is important to take these factors into consideration and not diminish the person’s feelings or beliefs.  This is not a time to “preach” to someone.  It is a time to reach out and open your heart.
 
Offer your support.  The most fundamental thing you can offer someone in grief is your support.   My friend Michele sent me this note after my mom passed away,“We will be there to do those things you are not able to” and she really was.  She helped make phone calls to my family the night my mom passed away, she was there at the memorial service, and was there through all the ups and downs as I recovered from this great loss.
 
I have found that most people appreciate knowing you care and that you are there to support them. A simple note of encouragement like this one can make all the difference: “Please know that I’m willing to help you out in any way you might need me to during this difficult time. I’d love to bring your family dinner or take you out for coffee if you ever need to talk.”

My old roommate used to send me cards on my mom’s birthday as a reminder that she was thinking of me. My aunt sends her sister-in-law a card on the anniversary of her son’s death just to let her know that she is not alone.  
 
I am deeply appreciative of all the love and encouragement I have received from my friends and family through the many losses in my life.  My greatest hope is that everyone receives that kind of deep support when they are going through a loss.
 
 
© 2009 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website built to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.   If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.
 
 

Posted in Grief Resources, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Thoughtful Sympathy Gift Ideas – The Comfort Company

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on October 8, 2009

We are very pleased to announce the addition of the The Comfort Company Sympathy Gifts to our Thoughtful Gift Ideas page on our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html.

The mission of The Comfort Company is to simplify the difficult process of expressing sympathy by offering a meaningful selection of non-traditional gifts designed to acknowledge loss rather than to minimize it. Words of sympathy do not come easily and comforting sympathy gifts are difficult to find. With this in mind, The Comfort Company has carefully selected or custom designed a meaningful collection of sympathy poems and cards, bereavement and condolence gift ideas with the hope of bringing comfort and remembrance to those who are grieving.

Special Savings for the Holidays – Visit our website for more details.

 For more gift ideas, please visit our Thoughtful Gifts page on our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html

Don’t Forget to Sign Up for our Free Monthly Newsletter !
http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/mailinglist.html

Our Newsletter includes tips, articles and inspirational stories on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one.
Plus
You will receive my FREE Special Report, “Twenty-Five Supportive Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One ~ Plus Ten Thoughtful Gift Ideas”

Posted in Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

FLOWERS, FLOWERS, FLOWERS…What To Do With All The Flowers?

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on August 17, 2009

First let me say that I love flowers. I love fresh cut flowers, planted flowers and pictures of flowers. I love receiving flowers and planting them in my garden.

The only time in my life when I did not enjoy flowers was after my mother passed away. For anyone that has lost an immediate family member they know that the first thing people think to do is send flowers. This is a lovely gesture. People think “a beautiful boutique of flowers” will brighten their day. However, in some circumstances, having an overwhelming amount of flower arrangements can become hard to manage for the family.

After my mother passed away, I found that the flowers that were beautiful the first few days started to make me sad as they began to fade. It was a reminder of the death I just experienced. When I returned home I felt this overwhelming need to plant flowers that would last, a need to bring new life into my home.

Why Flowers May Not Be the Perfect Gift

• If the funeral service is held in another city, it leaves the family with the burden of taking care of flowers that will die while they are out of town.

• If the person has been cremated, an overwhelming number of flower arrangements can become hard to manage if there is not a burial site to place them on.

• Cut flowers die rather quickly and to watch flowers dying all around can be depressing after the loss of a loved one.

What to Do With All the Flowers?

After my aunt passed away my uncle’s dinning room was filled with flowers. They were nice for a few days but my aunt was cremated and there was no grave site to place them on. Instead of allowing the flowers to go to waste, they donated them to a local hospital to bring joy to the patients.

A Different Way to Send Flowers

• Purchase a plant or flower that can be planted and offer to help them set-up a memorial garden for their loved one in their home or backyard.

• Coordinate with the family to help them buy one or two nice floral arrangements for the funeral or memorial service.

• Have a few flowers incased in a decorative frame along with a picture of the person that has passed away as a memorial to the person.

• If the funeral is out of town, consider sending flowers directly to the funeral home or church where the service will be held.

• For more ideas, visit our Thoughtful Gifts page at http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html.

If you have a suggestion, we would love to hear from you. If you are a Florist’s we would love to hear your suggestions as well. Please email us at info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com

© 2009 Lori Pederson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website built to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process. If you would like our Free Newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

 Please visit our Thoughtful Gift Ideas page on our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html for more gift ideas.

Posted in Inspiration, Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

LOSS OF A PET

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on June 23, 2009

IMG_0032My companion growing up was a beautiful Golden Retriever Collie mix named Red. I was devastated when he passed away when I was in high school. He was my friend, my protector and my companion.

Pet people know how animals can truly become part of the family and the loss of a pet can be as devastating as losing a friend.

The last few months have been rough on our family as we have lost many of our fury companions. Last week we lost our lovable black and white cat Lucky. Lucky was always under foot and ready to eat anytime the kitchen door opened. But we loved him and miss him dearly.

For the pet lovers out there, we know that you understand that the loss of a pet can cause a void in your life. They provide unconditional love and companionship. They are by are side when we are sick and listen when no one else will.

For the non pet lover, we ask you to remember that your friends that love the fury creatures of the world may be experiencing a loss without their pet. Kind words and your thoughtfulness at a time of a loss will be greatly appreciated.

We are grateful for the time we were able to spend with our fury friends and will miss them dearly.

In Loving Memory

Red
Jonathan
Maui
Tre’
Coco
Smokey
Shana
Chase
Lucky

Please let us know if you have a Pet story to share.  Email us at info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com and we will add it to our Inspiration page – http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/inspiration.html

Have you hugged your pet today?

Lori

Don’t Forget to Sign Up for our Free Monthly Newsletter !
http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/mailinglist.html

Our Newsletter includes tips, articles and inspirational stories on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one.
Plus
You will receive my FREE Special Report, “Twenty-Five Supportive Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One ~ Plus Ten Thoughtful Gift Ideas”

 Please visit our Thoughtful Gift Ideas page on our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html for more information on Pet Memorial & Sympathy Gifts.

© 2009 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website built to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.   If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

Posted in Grief Resources, Loss of a Pet | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »