I Did Not Know What To Say Blog

Archive for the ‘Inspiration’ Category

May your Thanksgiving be filled with many blessings!

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on November 27, 2014

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary,
because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

Author Unknown


Wishing You & Your Family a Very Happy Thanksgiving
Lori Pederson
Founder, I Did Not Know What To Say. Com

Posted in Gratitude, Grief Resources, Inspiration, Thanksgiving | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Sign-Up Today for the FREE Grief Healing Telesummit: March 10 -18, 2014

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on March 5, 2014

Grief Healing Telesummit:

Enjoy free access to 17 amazing speakers who share their best information to
help you transform grief into healing and living again!

  Free Registration at http://griefhealingtelesummit.com/lpederson
March 10 -18, 2014
Please share with those with a grieving heart!


Look at this amazing line up of experts!
I Did Not Know What To Say – Wed. March 12 at 1pm EST
The Grief Toolbox Toolbox
What’s Your Grief
Peace & Wellness Centere
Embrace Your Inner Self
Simply Kerryy
Dorothy Fitzer
Global Association of Holistic Psychotherapy
With Sympathy Gifts & Keepsakes,
Tina Games, Michael Mapes, Margaret Paul, Maggie Chula, Uma Girish, Tabitha Jayne and
Transcending Loss: Understanding the lifelong impact of grief

Free Registration at http://griefhealingtelesummit.com/lpederson
March 10 -18, 2014
Please share with those with a grieving heart!

Posted in Caregiver, Children Grief Support, Gratitude, Grief Resources, Grief Resources - Newsletter, Grief Support & Holidays, Grief Support Discussion Topics, Grief Support Workshops, Holiday Grief Support, Hospice/Palliative Care, Inspiration, Loss due to Suicide, Loss of a Aunt/Uncle, Loss of a Child, Loss of a Father, Loss of a Friend, Loss of a Grandparent, Loss of a Mother, Loss of a Parent, Loss of a Pet, Loss of a Sibling, Loss of a Spouse, Memorial Day, Men & Grief, Stillborn, Suicide Survivors, Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts, What Not To Say, What Not to Say to a Grieving Loved One, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Virtual Book Tour – Interview with Jennifer Hawkins – Author of The Gift Giver

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on August 3, 2011

Thank you for joining us on our Virtual Book Tour.

Today we welcome Jennifer Hawkins, author of  The Gift Giver. Jennifer’s interview offers many insights and practical suggestions on how to support a grieving widow.

Please feel free to comment or share your own experiences on how your friends and family have assisted you in restoring balance in your life after the loss of a loved one in the comment section below.

The Gift Giver is featured on our Helpful Books page under our Virtual Book Tour.

1. What inspired you to write the book The Gift Giver?

My best friend works in an emergency room as a physical therapist. I’d told her my story about what happened after Mark died. About three months later she called me and said I had to write a book. She had been telling my story to people who were about to die, who were about to lose a loved one, and to those who had just lost a loved one; and she couldn’t believe all of their positive responses. She The Gift Giver: A True Storysaid she watched their shoulders dropped and many of them told her that they felt so much better. She not only told me to write a book, she said, “And hurry up! I can’t tell the story to everyone.”

So, while I was terrified to put the whole story out there, she really inspired me by proving that what I’d been through could help others. And that is my intention.

2. How did losing your husband change your life?

First, we had two boys who were three and five years old. Becoming a single parent in an instant was an overwhelming shock of responsibility. Even three years later it seems I’m still adjusting to handling everything on my own. I was forced to rely on other people to help me take care of them. I was always an independent person, even when Mark was around, so having no choice but to depend on others was difficult…and still is, sometimes.

Even though single parenting has been a challenge, the biggest change in my life since losing Mark is that I now look at everything very differently. Before, I was extremely future focused and could be somewhat judgmental towards those who didn’t seem to have the same drive that I did. Now I find myself looking at a tree for several minutes and tears come to my eyes because I appreciate life; it is magical! I’ve learned to ‘live in the moment’ and am not always consumed with finding out what is going to happen next. More importantly, the knee jerk reaction to judge others just isn’t there anymore. After experiencing loss like I did, I learned that you can never imagine what is going on in someone else’s world.

3. How did receiving a message from your husband after he had passed away assist you in rebuilding your life and working through your grief?

I’d had a near death experience when I was 28 and I felt like I was given the choice to live or die. Since that experience, I have always believed that we choose when we die. So when my husband died suddenly I was in complete shock and denial; I could not fathom why he chose to die then. Our marriage was better than it had ever been, he was happy at work and was a wonderful father to our boys—life was good. His death shook me because my belief that we choose when we die was proved wrong. Not only was I dealing with his death but I was battling myself internally.

When he spoke to me and told me why he left, I could not deny that it was him. His reason for leaving was something I never in a million years would have considered and because of that, I knew it had to be true. At that moment, it made perfect sense why he chose to leave.

Since his first words I have not once been angry that he died. That is normally a big part of loosing someone. Instead, I look at my children like they are the luckiest boys in the world and I feel lucky. I’m not saying it’s not hard and that I don’t miss him because it is, and I do. But knowing there was a reason for his death released all of the anger and denial. That has made all of the difference in my transition, and in my parenting.

4. How did your friends and family react when you told them you had received messages from your husband after he had passed away?

The first person I told was my Mom. I was scared and thought, “She can’t leave me if she thinks I’m crazy.” But I was also scared because we were not a ‘spiritual’ family. We’d never talked about things like that before. However, I knew I had to tell someone because I’d felt so much relief and I felt guilty not sharing that relief with people who loved Mark.

That said, she reacted differently than I expected. She instantly started shaking and crying (which I’d NEVER seen her do) and said, “That sounds just like Mark.”

Most people, friends, family and even strangers have told me they get chills on their arms and neck and they believe me. For the most part people have been comforted by my story.

5. Many people may feel like their loved one is communicating with them after they have passed away but may have a hard time accepting that it is really happening. Often I see people discounting messages from their loved one as wishful thinking or their mind playing tricks on them. How did you come to accept that your husband was truly connecting with you from the other side?

In my world there was no other choice. He told me things that were so out of my reality that I knew it had to be coming from something other than me. I didn’t know for sure it wasn’t just the universe or God. I still don’t. The reason I assumed it was him was that the communication became conversational and was in first person as if it was him. We even argued. As I look back at it now, the arguing part seems very funny.

His presence feels warm, comforting, loving. I have never been afraid of it or questioned it. It made sense that he would speak to me, even though it was initially very shocking. He loved me and cared for me dearly. He tried to take care of me when he was here, more than I would even let him. He’s done an amazing job after he left, too.

6. Our website focuses on providing tips to friends and family members on how to support a loved one through the grieving process. What would be your suggestions on how friends and family can support a loved one that has lost a spouse?

Things that helped me the most were when people made me take care of myself. A friend scheduled a massage therapist to come to my house because I was too busy to deal with even making the reservation. Neighbors made us food three nights a week for months. This was invaluable. Adding on cooking to everything else I had to take care of might just have pushed me over the edge.

It was comforting to know there were people there who were willing to just listen. Some friends made a call list for me and they said I could pick up the phone twenty four hours a day and someone would either just listen or would come over to be with me. This gave the delicate balance of giving me space but being there when I needed someone. I think I only called a couple of times but when I did it was really necessary and appreciated.

My biggest piece of advice for supporting someone who is handling the loss of a spouse is to allow them to surrender to their grief. Let the person feel exactly what they’re feeling. Don’t try to fix them; don’t try to help them ‘get over’ anything. They are now a widow/widower and that fact will not change, ever. It is a part of them. Be with them when they need you there; and give them space when they don’t. The process is greatly achieved when they are alone. Don’t take it personally if they need to be alone.

7. What do you wish your family or friends had done differently after you lost your husband?

As you can tell from my last answer my friends and family are exceptional. If I had to think of anything it would be that after six or eight weeks the cards and calls slowed or stopped completely. When that happened I thought, “God, he was here for forty-nine years, and everyone has forgotten him after only two months.”

I understood that people had their own lives. And that made it okay but I’d have liked it if people called or wrote a small note randomly months and even years after, saying they are thinking of him or me and the boys. He is in our lives every day still. We talk about him and it would be nice to know others still have him in their hearts. It is hard with children to find time to reach out to people for that kind of support. I’ve just been trying to keep everything above water. Those little unsolicited reminders mean a lot.

8. What are your top three suggestions to help people move forward in the grieving process after the loss of a spouse? What helped you pick up the pieces and move forward?

Realize that this is something that is now a part of you forever and that you don’t have to change how you feel. Go into your heart and feel everything you are feeling rather than dismiss or deny the emotions. When I’ve done this the emotions seem to flow through me, rather than get stuck with me, and then I can move forward.

Look up and really see those who love you. They are wanting to help and it is important that you let them. They can provide a lot of relief; not only from your new responsibilities but also by showing you that other humans are just that—human, loving, and feeling.
Take care of yourself. Nobody can do it for you. Ultimately you have to pick up the pieces and move on. As soon as you can, do something small for yourself every single day. I don’t care if it is taking a long bath, going to a funny movie or just walking in nature. Make taking care of yourself a habit. Be very gentle with yourself; everything in life is perfect, no matter how much you think it isn’t.

9. What is one thing you would like your readers to take away from your book?

That life can be filled with joy, laughter, peace and love, whether or not you have ever experienced the loss of a close loved one.

10. What would you like our readers to know about you and your book?

That I feel like an angel kissed me on the forehead for getting to go through this experience, but I don’t feel like I’m different than anyone else. This could have all happened to anyone. We are all so alike, that truth frequently gets lost in our day to day lives.

11. Have you written any other books? Do you plan to write any other books in the future?

Yes, I have written five other books. Four were before Mark passed away, two since.
The first is called “Find Paradise Now – Seven Simple Steps to an Extraordinary Life.” It is based on my competitive swimming career and what I took from those years and use in my life.

Then I wrote a book called, “Liberation – Will You Survive or Thrive” with a friend Mike Watson. It is an inspirational, motivational book that explores forty words such as Dreams, Passion, Leadership, Love, Power, and Jealousy.
I also wrote two real estate investing books with Mike Watson. One is called “The Highest and Best Real Estate Investment” and the other is “How to Buy and Sell Real Estate Without Using a Bank.”
And finally I’ve written a follow up to “The Gift Giver”. However I’m not sure if I will ever publish it.


Jennifer’s diverse background includes swimming for the University of California at Santa Barbara, competing in the Olympic Trials in 1988, owning a residential real estate company for fifteen years and authoring five books.
She has spoken in front of audiences up to 700 people, traveled to over forty different locations, and is raising two boys who are five and seven years old.
She currently lives in Texas and is an active real estate investor, mom and author working on her sixth book.

The book website is http://www.thegiftgiverbook.com. Book orders (softback and eBook) can be made on the website, Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.

Posted in Gratitude, Grief Resources, Inspiration, Loss of a Spouse, Virtual Book Tour, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

More Than Words Can Say

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on July 12, 2011

As seen on the Note Project Blog on June 28, 2011: http://noteproject.com/more-than-words-can-say

When I learned about the Note Project, I went through some of my old letters and found a copy of a Thank You note I had sent my friend Michele after my mom had passed away. Michele was truly there for me at one of the most difficult times in my life. It has been almost 18 years since my mom passed away and I can still feel the love and support that surrounded me at this time of great loss.

I decided to share my letter to Michele not only to express my gratitude to her but to also show what an impact you can have on the life of a friend that has lost a loved one.


Dear Michele,

“I wanted to send you a note to let you know how much I appreciate you and your friendship. Words seem too limited to express the love that our friendship demonstrates.

I can never thank you enough for being there when I truly needed you. From making phone calls, to bringing food, to the most important part – being there when I needed a friend to listen.

Thank you for taking the time to stand by me when I felt like I was going crazy. Thank you for checking up on me and seeing me through the hard days. You can’t imagine how blessed I feel to know that I have such a wonderful friend.

Even when everything seems to have fallen apart, the one thing that makes me believe that God still cares about me is my loving friends and family. I am not sure I understand much about my life anymore, but the one thing I do know is that I have great friends that will see me through the good and the bad times.

Thank you again for the hundreds of thing you have done and said to make my life a bit easier over the last few months. I can’t imagine life without you!”

Love Lori

I have been deeply blessed with loving family members and caring friends that were there for me throughout the grieving process. Their thoughtfulness inspired me to create the website www.IDidNotKnowWhatToSay.com, where we share resources and inspirational ways to support a grieving love one. We invite you to share your story.

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.
H. Humphrey

I Didn’t Know What To Say, a website created to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process. Over the past 20 years I have lost many family members, several friends and pets. I have been deeply blessed with loving family members and caring friends that were there for me throughout the grieving process. Their thoughtfulness has been an inspiration to me and I hope to you as well. The smallest of gestures can make a big difference in someone’s life. My hope is that our site will inspire you to make a difference in the lives of those around you.

On the Web: www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com

On Twitter: www.twitter.com/IDidNotKnow

Our Blog: https://ididnotknowwhattosay.wordpress.com/

On Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/IDidNotKnowWhatToSay

If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/mailinglist.html.

Posted in Appreciation, Gratitude, Grief Resources, Grief Resources - Newsletter, Inspiration, Share Your Story, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Virtual Book Tour – Interview with Therese Benedict – Author of Days Go By, Not Love

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on June 14, 2011

Thank you for joining us on our Virtual Book Tour.

Today we Welcome Therese Benedict, the author of Days Go by Not Love. Therese’s interview and book offers many insights and practical suggestions on how to make positive changes in your life.

Please feel free to comment or share your own experiences in the comment section below.

Days Go by Not Love is featured on our Helpful Books page under our Virtual Book Tour.

1.   What inspired you to write the book Days Go By Not Love?

I was inspired and guided to write this book by God and his angels. As a clairvoyant, with the ability to communicate with God and his angels, I was given only the words for others to understand the beginning steps for them to change their life. There is so much to learn and so many directions that one can change their life that giving them too much information would only confuse them because of the amount of knowledge there is to help them change their life. So, I was only allowed to write a portion of what others needed to know so that they could succeed in their change of life.

I was also inspired to write this book because of the sadness and cruelty that is taking over this world while I watched the love diminish; knowing that there are so many people searching for answers for freedom from their pain. My gift allows me to illuminate areas of darkness in others who suffer from lack of love, pain, misery, depression and so on; to help bring them to a point of understanding of how to love oneself and to know there is a way out of this pain. By seeing others hurt their loved ones because they do not know how to love right – I know the answers and ways for each individual person because everyone needs help in different ways, so they may live of life of love.

2.   How have you used the steps in your book as you have gone through the challenges in your own life?

I have lived the steps outlined in my book through my entire life, which brought me peace in my soul because I always knew the love I carried for everyone. I always carried compassion no matter how bad a person treated me because I knew that they were lost. I have always stayed true to me and never let anyone change who I am. By living my life as this book speaks, I knew that not only could I help others through my gift of clairvoyance but that I also can relate to their pain from my own past experiences. I never gave up on who I was and because I loved myself in a right manner and trusted in God that I was granted my dreams with the love I knew that could exist but didn’t exist. It is not when we put our desires on our timeline that we receive our dreams, rather it is when we put our trust in God and allow time to lead the way to receive our dreams in which we desire. By following this guidance I met the most loving man, my husband, and I have reached several dreams.

3.   What would be your suggestions on how friends and family can support a loved one that has started to practice the steps you suggest in your book?

I would advise to them that their friends and family members will make mistakes that will upset them, but this is when they need to understand that hard times come with changing your life. It is also a wonderful way for them to learn in different directions, so they may grow even more with their change. To learn to appreciate hard situations because they can be a stepping stone for not only their friends and family but for the people that are supporting them as well. Friends and family can also support by learning how to communicate with compassion and not anger. This will only help them stay on track with changing their life and not giving up because they made a mistake. As I have stated before, mistakes are golden when used in a beautiful way. So when someone they love is trying to change their life from my book, I suggest that the people who are supporting them read the book as well so they may support them to their fullest.

4.   Do you find that people that have a strict religious background have a resistance to your teachings?

Yes, religion comes into play but only because of my gift. However, if they think about it, I am only teaching people what religions’ are about and that is love. Religion can make people run. I don’t bring up sins; I only teach what is right and what is wrong and help them change the wrongs to right. I am not a religious person but I live my life for God. I have a personal relationship with him as my father (just as if he were my father on earth) and I love him as my father and he loves me as his daughter. I talk to him as he is sitting right by me and knowing he hears my every word and know every emotion that I go through for him. I know he will protect me and love me and take care of me, for I live my life for him and his children. He has only shown me that he is by my side every second of my day and he shows me the love that he carries not only for me but for all of his children. So I teach what the church tries to teach but I do not teach the way the churches do. I help people become who they were created to be and to live a life of love to everyone that comes across their path, even if they do not know them personally. I still teach what is written in the bible but it is taught in such a way that people understand it better without the confusion of biblical words.

However, some religions do not believe that God seems to give some of his children a beautiful gift to help his children that are lost or looking for comfort. They think that we have demons inside of us, but we have the same thing inside of us that they do: GOD. I have only been blessed and see miracles everyday. Others’ negative thoughts will not change who I am and what I am here to do. I do not judge people because they do not believe in God, but I do have to say if they do not believe and do the actions in this book, they just might change their minds. I do not judge others because of what they have done in their life; my focus is only to help them see what they have done and to help them change their life. To bring freedom from their past pain and freedom from blindness and to help them stop their cruelty, so they may live of life of happiness themselves so they can be free of their misery.

5.   What is one thing you would like your readers to take away from your book?

That it is possible to change your life completely and that they have the power to make these changes along with the strength to do so… That changing their life is hard because the wrong seems to be much easier than the right and it really should be the other way around. With them learning that they can begin to trust in themselves and to find happiness within them and not within this world. For them to understand that it will not take the rest of their life to change and it will only take months; and to know that it is better to take those months to find happiness instead of living with misery and confusion of how to better themselves and their life for the rest of their lives. That they can become whole within themselves early in life and not at the later years of life.

6.   What would you like our readers to know about you and your book?

I have always known ever since I was a young girl that I was special and that I was here to help people. I could see and feel others pain within my soul. When others would do cruel actions that caused hurt to another, I seemed to know the answers and exactly how to respond to bring comfort in the hearts of those in pain or struggling. Even as a young child I always knew the answers between right and wrong and followed upon that intuitive guidance.

I love to help people! It is in my soul to bring peace and love to anyone who wants not to live a life of pain and confusion. I love seeing the peace and comfort in their eyes when they start to heal from their hurt and understanding of the hurt they caused. I love making this world a better place for us all.

My most recent book is called Days Go By, Not Love.  It was published by Tate Publishing and released on May 11, 2010. www.DaysGoByNotLove.com

Days Go By, Not Love is a spiritual self-help book that helps you identify the beginning steps to changing your life. It is a book that helps you find the inner and true you: fully. It helps you see the wrongs that not only others are doing but it helps you see your wrongs that you are committing. It gives you the answers to help you change those actions and live your life with more beauty and less cruelty. This book helps you open your eyes to what you have not seen within yourself. It is a book about how to love you right and others right. It brings insight to a deeper meaning of the word love.

7.   Is your book Days Go By Not Love part of a series, if so, when do you plan to release the next issue?

I am finishing the second book of the Days Go By, Not Love four-book series now and getting it ready for review from publishers with the intention of having it out by the end of this year. This book will be the continuing knowledge in your steps of change, while bringing more insight at a deeper depth of knowledge.

8.   Where can our readers buy the book?

My book is available in all major book stores and online. However, when you purchase my book through Amazon and enter in your Amazon order confirmation # on my website www.daysgobynotlove.com you will immediately be able to download Thousands of Dollars in FREE Bonus Gifts from world renowned leaders, experts and best-selling authors in the field of self-help, inspiration, spirituality, health-wellness and more…

Posted in Grief Resources, Inspiration, Love, Virtual Book Tour | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Art of the Inspirational Adventure

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on March 28, 2011

The Art of the Inspirational Adventure –
Helping your Love One Find Fun & Adventure in the Grieving Process

©Lori Pederson

The words fun and adventure are rarely discussed when someone is grieving. The grieving process can be lonely and full of a deep sense of loss and sadness for long periods of time. However, the grieving process can also include joy and inspiration.

Over the holidays, I had the opportunity to go to Disneyland with my sister to see my niece’s band perform. My last trip to Disneyland was over 17 years ago after my mother had passed away. As I walked through the park, I remembered how much joy it brought me to go to Disneyland even when I was in the midst of deep sadness.

My friends took me to Disneyland to help lift my spirits a few weeks after my mother’s funeral. It was hard to imagine having fun while I was full of sadness, but when my friends suggested going to Disneyland, I felt it would be an opportunity for me to relax and have a little fun.

My mom loved Disneyland, and we went often when I was growing up. Going to Disneyland not only was a way to have fun, it was  also a way to connect with my mom through a shared passion for the happiest place on earth.

We had a magical day. We let go, we had fun and just enjoyed the sunshine and the rides. It was a tremendous release!

Taking the time to take your loved one out of the everyday heaviness they are experiencing, can be an uplifting gift that they will cherish. Here are a few suggestions on how to get started with planning an Inspirational Adventure:

1. What is their comfort level? Each person is unique and so to is the journey through the grieving process. When approaching a friend about getting out into the world, be compassionate about their comfort level. Always include them in the planning process.

2. Find adventures that are fun for them. What do they love to do? What have they always wanted to do? Help them reconnect with life and joy through the simple pleasures in life. Do they love going to the movies? Going to the beach? Walking through the park? Going to Disneyland? Did they always want to learn how to dance? Help them understand that they are allowed to have fun, even though they are grieving.

3. This is not a time to push or demand. Start out slow and offer options that move them in a direction of hope and joy. Allow them to say “no” if they are not ready.

4. Avoid surprises. The grieving process can be overwhelming. Even if your intentions are admirable, surprising someone that is grieving does not allow them the opportunity to back out if they are not ready or have had a rough day.

5. Start out slow and allow them to put one foot in front of the other. In the early stages of grief just getting out of bed and taking a walk can be difficult. Each little step forward will help your loved one restore balance in his or her life.

An Inspirational Adventure will not take away the deep feelings of sadness or cure the grief that your loved one is experiencing. However, it may bring a smile to their face, open their heart just a little, and help them begin to feel joy again.

Visit our Inspirational Adventure section on our website to read more inspirational stories.  Do you have a story you would like to share?  Please email us at info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

©2011 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website created to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process. If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

Posted in Grief Resources, Inspiration, Share Your Story, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Human Spirit

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on March 26, 2011

The last few months have been filled with many tragic events across the globe.  Earthquakes, floods, tsunamis and war have filled the headlines.  Yet, hidden in the tragic headlines are many stories of hope, courage and love.

The Human Spirit is an amazing thing.  It gives those in the midst of devastation and loss the strength to live.  It touches the hearts of people to provide assistance and support in big and small ways.  And, it gives us all hope that we too will find our own inner strength to meet the many challenges in our own lives.

To all the people suffering around the world, we send our love and hope that the support and comfort you need finds you and strengthens you.  Know that you are not alone.

To the search and rescue teams, the military, medical professionals and all the volunteers that provide support all over the world in times of crisis, we Thank You

It always inspires me to see people come together to support each other at a time of great loss.  An enormous amount of gratitude should be given to the amazing men and women that are part of the Search and Rescue teams that put their lives at risk to help others.  Your heartfelt courage is inspiring.

So what can we do to support those that have lost so much?  Here are a few suggestions to lend support:

  1. Pray or send positive loving energy to those in need. 
  2. Participate in a local Candle Lighting Vigil.
  3. Volunteer for a local charity that is offering support to those in need.
  4. Make a donation (money, food, clothing, etc) to organizations that directly support those in need.
  5. Encourage others to make a donation or donate their time.

A little support goes a long way in a time of major crisis.

Many organizations need your support to continue to do the amazing work they do for people in need.  Whether you are making a donation for yourself or in memory of a loved one, here are a few to consider: 

The National Cherry Blossom Festival – Stand with Japan http://www.nationalcherryblossomfestival.org

Each year, the National Cherry Blossom Festival commemorates the 1912 gift of 3,000 cherry trees from Mayor Yukio OzCherry Blossomsaki of Tokyo to the city of Washington, DC. The gift and annual celebration honor the lasting friendship between the United States and Japan and the continued close relationship between the two countries. 

The National Cherry Blossom Festival starts today (March 26, 2011) and their website offers several ways you can donate to support the people of Japan.

American Red Cross


 Tips for Giving In Times of Crisis


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Don’t Miss Our Monthly Newsletter

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on January 20, 2011

Don’t miss our monthly newsletter featuring tips, articles and inspirational stories on how to assist a loved one through the journey of restoring balance in their life after a loss.

January 2011 – Featured Article:

 The Art of the Inspirational Adventure
Helping your Love One Find Fun & Adventure in the Grieving Process
by Lori Pederson, Founder I Did Not Know What To Say

To read more, Click on the link below to sign up for our Monthly Newsletter: http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/mailinglist.html

Our Newsletter includes tips, articles and inspirational stories on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one.

Plus You will receive my FREE Special Report, “Twenty-Five Supportive Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One ~ Plus Ten Thoughtful Gift Ideas”

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Life Lessons about Dying from Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on October 24, 2010

I recently came across the movie Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, a delightful children’s movie full of wonder and magic.   I was drawn in by the elegant way they handled the topic of death.   The dialogue between the two characters as they discussed the impending death of Mr. Magorium was insightful and inspirational.  I was so touched by their interaction that I thought I would share their exchange with you.  If you have not seen this movie, I would highly recommend that you take a moment to sit back and enjoy.   And remember… “Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.”

From Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium:

Mr. Edward Magorium: [to Molly, about dying] When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He’s written “He dies.” That’s all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is “He dies.” It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with “He dies.” And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it’s only natural to be sad, but not because of the words “He dies.” but because of the life we saw prior to the words.
[pause, walks over to Molly]

Mr. Edward Magorium: I’ve lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I’m only asking that you turn the page, continue reading… and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest “He died.”

Molly Mahoney: [starting to sob] I love you.

Mr. Edward Magorium: I love you, too.
[picks Molly up, sighs heavily]

Mr. Edward Magorium: Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

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Virtual Book Tour – Interview with Lori A. Moore – Author Missing Andy

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on June 28, 2010

Thank you for joining us on our Virtual Book Tour. 

Today we Welcome Lori A. Moore, the author of Missing Andy.  We are delighted that Lori has been able to provide us with her insights and suggestions on how to assist a loved one that has lost her ex-husband and best friend.  Please feel free to comment or share your own experiences with grief and the healing process in the comment section below.

Missing Andy is featured on our Helpful Books page under Grief Support & Loss of a Spouse.

And here is our interview with Lori A. Moore… 

What inspired you to write the book Missing Andy?

My husband of 12 years died in 2008 at age 49. He threw a blood clot approximately 15 hours post-surgery for a hip replacement. We held his funeral on what should have been his 50th birthday. Even though we were divorced at the time of his death, he was my best friend and we talked to each other every single day and hung out a couple of times a week.  I started writing as a way to express my thoughts and my grief.

Is there any one thing that your family or friends did for you that assisted you through the grieving process?  (i.e. a special card someone sent you, a favorite place they took you, listened when you needed support, etc.)

My friends were very patient with my crying and my telling them frequently how much I  missed Andy.  My brother, who doesn’t say much, came through in a big way and was very supportive of me during my grief. Even now, almost two years later, almost 


every conversation includes an “Andy” story and they are very understanding about why I talk about him so much even though he’s gone.

What do you wish your family or friends had done differently after Andy had passed away?

A couple of friends, within a month of two of Andy’s passing would say, “You need to get over it,” or “Aren’t you over that yet?”   That really hurt.  You don’t just “get over it.”  Others asked, “But he was your ex-husband, why would you be upset about him dying if you weren’t still married to him?”  They simply didn’t understand the relationship.  After Andy’s death, his family was upset that Andy had made me beneficiary of a larger sum of money than he left to them and they got a little ugly about it. Dealing with those issues on top of my grief was almost too much to handle.

What is one thing you would like your readers to take away from your book?

Grief is normal and it’s okay to grieve. You’re grieving for yourself because the loved one that you lost, if he/she was a Christian is in a perfect place that is so much better than here on earth.  They’re okay, even if you’re not okay for a while. 

What are your top three suggestions to help people move forward in the grieving process?

  • Talk to a grief counselor.
  • Give yourself time to grieve.
  • Find a creative outlet for your grief, such as scrapbooking, writing, journaling, etc. so that you can spend some happy time remembering the person that you’ve lost.

What do you want our readers to know about you and your book?

I wrote this book to deal with my grief, but also as a way to honor Andy for the wonderful man that he was.  The majority of the profits from this book go to Andy’s favorite charity, The WHAS Crusade for Children, an organization in Louisville, KY that benefits special-needs children.

Have you written any other books?  Do you plan to write any other books in the future?

My first book, written at the same time as Missing Andy, is titled From Zero to Christian in Just 35 Years which is a compilation of three stories making up my testimony of how I gave my life to Christ.  The title comes from the fact that I had never set foot inside of a church of heard of Jesus Christ until I was 35 years old.  

My next book is due out this Fall (2010) and is a children’s book titled Grady the Gray Cat. 

About Lori A. Moore

Lori A. Moore teaches college both online as well as in her hometown of Louisville, KY where she lives with her husband Michael and their three cats.  Lori has a passion for adults who haven’t yet experienced a relationship with Christ because everything they’ve heard is kind of formal and scary.  She tries to write with humor and on a down-to-earth level that people can relate to and understand. 

Twitter @Lori_A_Moore



Posted in Grief Resources, Inspiration, Loss of a Friend, Loss of a Spouse, Virtual Book Tour, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »