I Did Not Know What To Say Blog

Archive for May, 2009

Ten More Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on May 30, 2009

When a friend, colleague or family member is going through the grieving process, there is so much more you can do for them then just sending flowers.   Having the support of friends and family can make all the difference.   

Here are ten more suggestions: 

  1. Help the person call family and friends to let them know about the funeral/memorial service. Telling people over and over again about the passing of a loved one can be extremely difficulty for the bereaved.  Having a few close friends and family members help with this task can lift a heavy burden.
  2. If the family has to fly to another destination for the burial, help them make travel arrangements.  In most cases travel arrangements will need to be made at the very last minute and having someone help navigate this task is a wonderful gift you can give someone.  When my mom passed away one of her dear friends was a Travel Agent and she took care of making all the flight arrangements for us to fly from California to South Dakota where my mom wished to be buried.
  3. Attend the funeral.  Unless it is a closed family funeral, having friends and family around at this very difficult time can mean a great deal to your friend or family member.
  4. Be Understanding and patient.  Your friend or family member may not know what they need right now.  Your willingness to be ready, willing and able to assist when they need support will be a cherished gift.
  5. Be sure they are taking care of themselves.   Keep up with them on the basics.  Are they eating?  Are they getting up in the morning and taking a shower? Are they getting out of the house?  Are they getting regular exercise?  If not, talk to them about their well being.
  6. If they are experiencing deep emotional grief, assist them in finding a grief support group or professional counselor that can assist them.  You may want to offer to attend a grief support group with them to give them emotional support.   See our website for Resources on Grief Support Groups http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/grief_support_groups.html  
  7. Help them put together a Memory Box to keep mementos and cherished items from their loved one. 
  8. Help them create a DVD of photos and videos of the person’s life.  My uncle made a beautiful DVD with pictures from my Aunt Carol’s life and included some of her favorite songs.
  9. Make a CD of the person’s favorite songs and/or uplifting songs to brighten their spirit when they are starting to feel lonely.
  10. Help them create a memorial website in honor of the person that has passed away.   There are many memorial websites that are easy to set up and many of them are free or inexpensive to maintain. The Virtual Memorial Garden allows you to set-up a virtual Memorial for free – http://www.virtualmemorialgarden.net
Help Us Grow Our List  We are looking to build our list to 101 Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One.  We would love to hear your stories and suggestions. 

What did your friends and family do for you when you went through a loss that made you feel better?

What did you wish someone had done for you? 

Warm Thoughts,  Lori

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© 2009 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website built to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.   If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

Posted in Grief Resources, Inspiration, What to do for someone that is grieving | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

What Is Your Wish?

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on May 30, 2009

Often friends and family are at a loss as to what to do for someone when they are going through the grieving process. 

If you have lost a loved one, we would love to hear your Wish List. 

What did you wish someone had done for you? 

What did you wish they had not said or done? 

Our website is about idea sharing and inspiration; let us know your inspirational wish list. 

We look forward to hearing your stories, insights and suggestions.

Posted in Grief Resources | Leave a Comment »

A Different Kind of Mother’s Day

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on May 10, 2009

Mother’s Day can be particularly difficult for those that have lost their mother.  No matter what your age, the bond between a mother and her children seems to be everlasting. 

A friend of mine lost her mother about 10 years ago and we were talking about how Mother’s Day is always difficult for both of us since we have both lost our mothers.  She said that she did not celebrate Mother’s Day because she became very sad and missed her mother during that holiday. 

Although she did not celebrate Mother’s Day, she does celebrate her mother.  On her mother’s birthday she puts together a big family picnic where all of her siblings gather with their extended families and celebrate their mother.  At the end of the day they exchange stories about their mother and everyone releases a balloon in her honor.  It is their sign to their mother, grandmother, and great grandmother, that she is still loved and in their hearts and memories. 

What a beautiful celebration of life and remembrance.

For those that have lost their mother’s…how do you celebrate her memory on Mother’s Day?  We would love to hear your stories.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom – We love you and remember you today and always.  Your love, encouragement, and strong belief in family stays with us today and always.

Love Lori

Posted in Inspiration | Leave a Comment »