I Did Not Know What To Say Blog

Ten Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One

Posted by ididnotknowwhattosay on April 28, 2009

When a friend, colleague or family member is going through the grieving process, there is so much more you can do for them then just sending flowers.   Having the support of friends and family can make all the difference.  Here are some suggestions:

  1. Listen, Listen, Listen.  One of the most important things you can do is to make yourself available and truly listen.
  2. Send a card or letter letting the person know you care.  Holidays, birthdays and the anniversary of the person’s death can be particularly difficult.  Sending a card or note during these special times let’s your friend know they are not alone.
  3. Make a phone call or stop by to make sure the person is doing ok.
  4. Take the person on an inspirational adventure- what do they love to do?  Reconnect them with life and joy through the simple pleasures of life.  Do they love bike riding?  Going to the beach?  Walking through the park?  Make it simple and allow them the opportunity to talk about how they are feeling.
  5. Make them dinner or take them out for dinner or coffee.   Allow them the space to talk about how they are feeling.
  6.  Help them put together a memory book of pictures and mementos of the person that has passed away.  This will give them a chance to connect with the special times they spent with their loved one.
  7. Help them take care of everyday tasks.  Take out the trash, wash the dishes, go grocery shopping, take their dog for a walk, wash their car, mow their lawn, take the kids to school, etc.   Taking care of the everyday tasks can allow the family time to grieve and handle the many responsibilities of planning a funeral and readjusting their lives.
  8. When they are ready, help them go through the clothing of the deceased.  Many families will donate clothing to a charity or give items to friends and family.  The gift of your time through this very difficult process will be greatly appreciated.
  9.  Allow the person the opportunity to grieve.  The grieving process does not end at the funeral.   It takes time and allowing your friend the space to go through the normal stages of grief can help with their overall recovery.
  10. Send a gift of hope, inspiration, relaxation, and rejuvenation.   Send an inspirational book, a journal, a memory book, a funny movie, a beautiful picture, a mediation CD, a day at the spa, or any gift item that helps your friend with the healing process.  See our website for Thoughtful Gift Ideas: http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html

What did your friends and family do for you when you went through a loss that made you feel better?

What did you wish someone had done for you?

 We would love to hear your stories.

For  Ten More Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One– See our Blog at:

Warm Thoughts,  Lori


© 2009 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website built to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.   If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.


6 Responses to “Ten Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One”

  1. buyvigrx said

    my God, i thought you were going to chip in with some decisive insght at the end there, not leave it with ‘we leave it to you to decide’.

  2. Thank You For This Post, was added to my bookmarks.

  3. I’ve been visiting your blog for a while now and I always find a gem in your new posts. Thanks for sharing.

  4. shley said

    Bring food or plastic tableware. When a family looses a loved one, they host for plenty of guest and visitors during the week. Often last thing someone wants to do is cook and worry about feeding their guests, so send hoagie tray, cookie tray, even pizza. Also, dishes! Who feels like cleaning? Many people appreicate the gesture if u bring coffee, coffee filters, creamers, paper dishes, nakins, plastic fork, knives, spoons, cups. This way after their guests leave, its an easy clean up and they can concentrate on spending time w their friends and family rather than cleaning up after them

  5. sara said

    Thank u

  6. This is just awesome Thanks for making this available 😀

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