What is your favorite Sympathy Verse or Poem?

We invite you to share your favorite Sympathy Verse or Poem in the comment section below.

Here are a few of our favorites:

May you see God’s light on the path ahead
When the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear,
Even in your hour of sorrow,
The gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard may hardness
Never turn your heart to stone,
May you always remember
when the shadows fall—
You do not walk alone.
~ Irish Blessing

If I Could Catch A Rainbow
If I Could Catch A Rainbow, I Would Do It Just For You
And Share With You Its Beauty, On The Days You’re Feeling Blue
If I Could Build A Mountain, You Could Call Your Very Own
A Place To Find Serenity; A Place To Be Alone…….
If I Could Take Your Troubles , I Would Toss Them In The Sea
But All These Things I’m Finding, Are Impossible For Me
I Cannot Build A Mountain, Or Catch A Rainbow Fair
But Let Me Be What I Know Best ….A Friend That’s Always There..

‘Say not in grief ‘he is no more’ but live in thankfulness that he was’
~Hebrew proverb

Perhaps they are not
stars in the sky,
but rather openings
where our loved ones
shine down
to let us know they
are happy.
~Eskimo Proverb

Those we love remain with us for love itself lives on,
and cherished memories never fade
because a loved one’s gone.
Those we love can never be more than a thought apart,
for as long as there is memory, they’ll live on in the heart.
~Author Unknown

There will come a day
when your tears of sorrow
will softly flow into tears of remembrance…
and your heart will begin to heal itself…
and grieving will be interrupted by episodes of joy…
and you will hear the whisper of hope.
There will come a day
when you will welcome the tears of remembrance…
as a sun shower of the soul…
a turning of the tide…
a promise of peace.
There will come a day when you will…
risk loving…
go on believing…
and treasure the tears of remembering.
~The Comfort Company

May the long time sun shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light within you
Guide your way home.
~Gaelic Blessing

We hope by sharing your story you will inspire others to give the gift of love and compassion to their loved ones that are grieving.

How To Submit Your Story

Stories may be submitted in writing or in video format.  Please email your story to us at:

By Email: info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com

Please include your Name, the name of the person who wrote the submission (if different) and your address, so we may contact you should we use your submission.

Your contact information will only be used to contact you should we wish to post your submission on our website or in our upcoming book “I Did Not Know What to Say”. We will never sell your information to any third party vendor.

If your submission is used on our website or in our upcoming book “I Did Not Know What to Say”, we will be sure that both you and the author are credited for your submission. If you wish to stay anonymous, please note that on your submission.

To view inspirational messages that others have contributed, please visit our Inspiration page for thoughts and ideas.

Thank you for your contribution!

Lori Pederson
Founder, I Did Not Know What To Say.com

Christmas is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.
~Dale Evans

Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting® 
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/News_Events/Special-Events/Worldwide_Candle_Lighting.aspx

 Hundreds of Open Services Now Being Planned for Worldwide Candle Lighting December 11 to Remember Children

 Anticipation of a very special and memorable day grows as the 15th Worldwide Candle Lighting December 11, 2011 nears. The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, creating a virtual wave of light, hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor the memory of children in a way that transcends all ethnic, cultural, religious, and political boundaries.

Now believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, the Worldwide Candle Lighting, a gift to the bereavement community from The Compassionate Friends, creates a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. Hundreds of formal candle lighting events are held and thousands of informal candle lightings are conducted in homes as families gather in quiet remembrance of children who have died, but will never be forgotten.

The Worldwide Candle Lighting started in the United States in 1997 as a small Internet observance but has since swelled in numbers as word has spread throughout the world of the remembrance.

In 2010, information was submitted to TCF’s national website on services in 15 countries outside the United States including more than 530 services, as this special day continues to grow. TCF has been joined in recent years by chapters of several organizations including MISS, MADD, Parents of Murdered Children, SIDS Network, Gilda’s Club, and BPUSA and for several years services have been held in all 50 states plus WashingtonD.C. and Puerto Rico. There is no way to know how many hundreds of additional services open to the public are held in the U.S. and around the world each year without the information being sent to us.

The Compassionate Friends and allied organizations were joined in 2010 by local bereavement groups, churches, funeral homes, hospitals, hospices, children’s gardens, schools, cemeteries, and community centers. Services have ranged in size from just a few people to nearly a thousand.

Every year you are invited to post a message in the Remembrance Book which will be available, during the event, at TCF’s national website. Last year in that short one day span, nearly five thousand messages of love were received and posted from every U.S. state and Washington D.C., every territory, as well as dozens of other countries, with some posts in foreign languages.

Here in the United States, publicity about the event is widespread, being featured over the years in Dear Abby, Annie’s Mailbox, Ann Landers column, Parade Magazine, Guideposts magazine, and literally hundreds of U.S. newspapers, dozens of television stations, and numerous websites and hundreds of personal blogs. Information on the Worldwide Candle Lighting and planned memorial candle lighting services (of which we are advised) is posted on TCF’s national website every year as the event nears.

View Dear Abby’s column from December 4, 2011 and read a letter from TCF’s Executive Director Pat Loder about what this event means to those who have suffered the tragic loss of a child. Here’s a news video posted December 8, 2011 about The Compassionate Friends and the Worldwide Candle Lighting by KLTV in Tyler,TX.

If no Worldwide Candle Lighting service was held near you last year, please feel free to plan one open to the public this year or next year. You are welcome to use TCF’s “Suggestions to Help Plan a Memorial Service in Conjunction with The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting©” to help in planning the service. All allied bereavement organizations, churches, funeral homes, hospices, and formal and informal bereavement groups are invited to join in the remembrance. When you firm up plans for your candle lighting, open to the public, please return to this site and submit the event information form so TCF can list your service with the many hundreds held in the United States and around the world. The Worldwide Candle Lighting gives bereaved families everywhere the opportunity to remember their child . . . that their light may always shine!

Media Stories and Videos on the 2010 Worldwide Candle Lighting

TCF 2010 Worldwide Candle Lighting Press Release (Oct. 6, 2010): Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting During Holiday Season Remembers All Children Who Have Died

Special Savings for the Holidays on Black Friday, Cyber Monday and throughout December on select gift items.

Be sure to visit our Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts page on our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html for special offers and discount codes!

Christian Memorial Gifts
Design Your Own Gift Baskets
Kindnotes
Memorial Gifts
Memorial Ornaments
Memorial Quilts & Throws
Memorial Trees
Military Memorial Gifts
Miscarriage/Stillbirth Memorial Gifts
Personalized Memorial Frames
Personalized gift items
Pet Memorials
Remembrance Candles
Unique Gift Items
And More…

For Holiday Grief Support Resouces, please visit our website at http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/Holiday_Grief_Support.html

Don’t Forget to Sign Up for our Free Monthly Newsletter !
http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/mailinglist.html

Our Newsletter includes tips, articles and inspirational stories on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one.
Plus
You will receive my FREE Special Report, “Twenty-Five Supportive Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One ~ Plus Ten Thoughtful Gift Ideas”

Happy Thanksgiving from I Did Not Know What To Say.com

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,

If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something

For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.

During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations

Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge

Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes

They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary

Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are

also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

Author Unknown

• The First Holidays After a Loss – How You Can Offer Your Support by Lori Pederson
• 12 Simple Ways to Support a Grieving Friend this Holiday Season by Lori Pederson
• Be the Gift of Comfort, Joy and Love this Holiday Season by Lori Pederson
• Less than Perfect by Lori Pederson
• Eight Tips to Help Families Survive the Holidays After a Child Has Died by Compassionate Friends
• How to Choose a Thoughtful Sympathy Gift by Lori Pederson
• Thoughtful Sympathy Gift Ideas
  

Holiday Grief Support Groups & Resources

• Grief Share – Surviving the Holidays events – http://www.griefshare.org/holidays
• Good Grief Center – Click Here Holiday Support Groups at GGC
  
• Grief & the Holidays: a Survival Guide – Good Grief Center for Bereavement Support
  
• The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting – December 11, 2011. Click Here for Services in your area.
  
• How to Survive Your Grief – Holiday Grief Support Teleconference
• Surviving the Holidays – Thoughts on Coping. . . – GriefNet.org
• Coping with Grief during the Holidays - Funeralplan.com
  
• Getting through the Holidays When You are Grieving by Maureen Hunter
  
• Coping with Holiday Grief – Sutter Care at Home
  
• Grief and the Holidays – Hospice Foundation of America
  
• Children and Loss: When Holidays Trigger Grief – Psychology Today
  
• Finding Holiday Joy Amid the Grief – WedMD
  
• Meaningful Remembrance Ideas for Holiday Grief – Beliefnet.net
  
• 7 Ways to Deal with Holiday Grief – World of Psychology
• Pre-Planning for the Holidays in Bradenton — Senior Care Bradenton
  
• Be sure to check with your local Hospice for Holiday Grief Support Groups available in your area.

Click Here for Additional Grief Support Resources

Do you have a Grief Support Resource to share? Please email your information to us at info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com or use the COMMENT Section below and we will add your submission to our website.

About the Day

Children’s Grief Awareness Day is observed every year on the Thursday before Thanksgiving. This time of year is a particularly appropriate time to support grieving children because the holiday season is often an especially difficult time after a death. Children’s Grief Awareness Day seeks to bring attention to the fact that often support can make all the difference in the life of a grieving child.

In 2011, Children’s Grief Awareness Day will be Thursday, November 17.

Children’s Grief Awareness Day provides an opportunity for all of us to raise awareness of the painful impact that the death of a loved one has in the life of a child, an opportunity for all of us to recognize and support the millions of grieving children across the nation—the thousands of grieving children right in our own communities—and the grieving children we know and see in our daily lives, an opportunity to make sure that these children receive the support they need.

Excerpt from: http://www.highmarkcaringplace.com/cp2/cgad/index.shtml

For More Information:

Children’s Grief Awareness Day on Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/ChildrensGriefAwarenessDay

Highmark Caring Place – http://www.highmarkcaringplace.com/cp2/cgad/index.shtml

Holding on to HOPE – http://www.highmarkcaringplace.com/cp2/cgad/hope/index.shtml

The holidays are upon us and it seems that many people have decided to simplify their holiday traditions this year. Instead of spending hours shopping and getting frustrated at the mall, they have decided to spend quality time with friends and family. 

In the spirit of simplicity and kindness, we have compiled a list of 12 simple and memorable ways to support a grieving loved one this holiday season. This list comes from the suggestions submitted by our online community. So take a minute to check your holiday To Do List and be sure you have added your grieving loved ones to the list.

1. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the loss. One of the most important things you can do for a friend that is grieving is to understand that special occasions and holidays may be filled with both sorrow and joy. A message as simple as “I know the holidays may be difficult for you. I want you to know that I am thinking about you.” will let them know you care.

2. Listen and allow the tears to flow. Allow your friend the opportunity to feel all the feelings he or she is experiencing this time of year.

3. Allow the person to set the pace. Grief is a little like a roller coaster with many ups and downs. Your friend may want to cry one minute, talk about fun memories the next and then the next may want to have some time alone. Respect their needs and understand that their change in mood is not about you.

4. Encourage your friend to talk about the person that has passed away. If you knew the person, share your fond memories too.

5. Invite your friend to join you for your holiday gathering. As family members pass away, traditions change and a loved one may not be able to spend the holidays with their family. Including them in your family festivities will help ease the loneliness they may be feeling this time of year.

6. Send a card and be sure to acknowledge the loss. Don’t be afraid to mention the person’s name or to include your own personal memories of the person that has passed away.

7. Visit the cemetery with your friend or leave flowers with a note for the family at the gravesite.

8. Prepare your friend’s favorite holiday treat or a favorite food of the person that has passed away. Each year I prepare my mother’s holiday cookies to remember her love for the holidays.

9. Create a scrapbook of memories. Ask friends and family to write down their memories of the loved one that has passed away and put together a scrapbook of pictures and stories to give to your grieving friend.

10. Make a donation to their favorite charity in memory of the person that has passed away.

11. Encourage them to take care of themselves. Self care is very important to the healing process. Give a gift of pampering at a spa or prepare a care package that includes a relaxation CD, bath salts, and an aromatherapy candle. If going to a spa is not their way of relaxing, find an activity that brings them joy and relaxation.

12. Don’t run for the hills. Many people are afraid to be around a person that is grieving. They often treat the grieving person as though they have a contagious disease. A true friend is the one that stands by their friend and allows them the space to feel all the feelings they are going through…the good and the bad.

Offering your support, understanding and companionship during the holidays will be a cherished gift. Be sure to listen to your friend’s wishes and do not force him or her to participate in activities that may be overwhelming. Be sure to only offer your support if you know you can truly follow through. And remember, it is the simple acts of kindness that are delivered with an open heart that are remembered year after year.

 “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
Leo Buscaglia

We invite you to share your holiday stories and suggestions with us on our Blog or by email at info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

Be sure to visit our Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts page on our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html for special Holiday Sympathy Gift Ideas and Special Discounts.

 Holiday Memorial Ornaments  – http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts-memorialornaments.html

Holiday Grief Support Resources – http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/Holiday_Grief_Support.html

© 2009 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website created to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process. If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

Here are some of the resources we have found:

National Breast Cancer Foundation
http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/

I Did Not Know What To Say – Cancer Resources
http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/cancer_resources.html

Mom’s Best Recipes – Cancer Resources
http://www.momsbestrecipes.com/New/Cancer_Resources.htm

The Ellen Degeneres Show
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/breast_cancer_awareness_month/

American Cancer Society
https://www.cancer.org

Avon Walk
http://www.avonwalk.org/

Remember, Early Detection Helps Save Lives
http://www.avonwalk.org/cause/breast-cancer-information.html

Self Growth Breast Cancer Resources
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/breast-cancer

Recover with Angels
http://www.recoverwithangels.com
The Recovery Care Gift Basket is designed specifically for the recovering breast cancer surgery patient.

Your Prayers for Those Touched by Breast Cancer
http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Health-Support/Your-Prayers-for-Breast-Cancer-Victims.aspx

Ford – Warriors in Pink
http://www.ford.com/warriorsinpink/

Stand Up to Cancer
http://www.standup2cancer.org/

Susan G. Komen for the Cure
http://ww5.komen.org/

Pink Purpose – Promoting breast cancer awareness every day!
http://www.pinkpurpose.com/

My Hope Space
www.MyHopeSpace.com offers cancer patients, survivors, caregivers and their support network an easy way to communicate and share their stories, their struggles, and their accomplishments with other members.

Wings of Angels
http://www.recoverwithangels.com
Wings of Angels Provides Breast Cancer Recovery Care Packages and Healing Gift Baskets Healing with breast cancer therapy and other recovery treatments can be painful and uncomfortable. That’s why Wings of Angels creates breast cancer care packages and recovery gift baskets filled with items that comfort and soothe the healing patient.

My Pink Planner
http://www.mypinkplanner.com
An online scheduler connecting cancer patients and those who want to help them.

Breast Cancer
www.BreastCancer.org

Understanding Breast Cancer
http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/understand_bc/

Fight Pink
http://www.fightpink.org
Fight Pink™ shares Survivorship stories through the web site, while raising awareness for Breast Cancer through community events and projects by partnering with local and national organizations dedicated to the cause and searching for the cure to Breast Cancer.

Mayo Clinic – Breast Cancer
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/breast-cancer/DS00328

The Breast Cancer Site
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=2
Click to give free Mammograms