Valentine’s Grief Support Resources

How to Support a Grieving Loved one on Valentine’s Day

Articles – Valentine’s Day & the Loss of a Loved One

Getting Through Valentine’s Day Alone by Open to Hope

Dealing with Holiday Grief by Beliefnet.com

Grief Healing: Remembering Our Loved Ones on Valentine’s Day by June Cook

The Heartbreak of Valentines Day by Maureen Hunter

Self Healing Expressions Grief Course Instructor Suggests 7 Grief Rituals for Valentine’s Day

Loss of a Spouse Virtual Book Tour

Interview with Jennifer Hawkins – The Gift Giver

Interview with Pat Nowak – ABC’s of Widowhood

Interview with Ellen Gerst – Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story

Interview with Michael Corrigan – A Year and a Day

Interview with Carole Brody Fleet – “Widows Wear Stilettos: A Practical and Emotional Guide for the Young Widow”

Interview with Lori A. Moore – Missing Andy

Interview with Marcy Kelly – From Sorrow to Dancing

ARTICLES – Loss of a Spouse

25 Things You Can Do For A Widow On Valentine’s Day - Sheryl Kurland, The Relationship Insider

Operation: Heaven Writings & Tips for Those Who Know Someone Who Has Lost Their Hero in the Military by Taryn Davis – Founder/President, The American Widow Project

Five Things You Can Do for a Grieving Widow by Marcy Kelly, Author of From Sorrow to Dancing

HAVE A “SINGLE-Y SENSATIONAL” VALENTINE’S DAY by Carole Brody Fleet, Author of Widows Wear Stilettos

How to Date/Marry A Widow or Widower by Ellen Gerst, Relationship Coach & Author of Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story

Valentine’s Day for Widows = No Valentine, Just Pain by Marcy Kelly, Author From Sorrow to Dancing

Widowhood: A Time for Reinvention by Ellen Gerst, Relationship Coach & Author of Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story

A Single Woman’s Adventures in Ballroom Dancing by Marcy Kelly, Author From Sorrow to Dancing

Love After Loss – Writing the Rest of Your Story by Ellen Gerst, Relationship Coach & Author of Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story

Valentine’s Day: The Best Way To Acknowledge It…Is To Acknowledge Others by Widow Chick

Sh*t People Say to Widows (Video) by Fresh Widow

I Did Not Know What To Say – Additional Resources

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Loss of a Spouse/Significant Other
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Helpful Books
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Additional Grief Support Resources

Do you have a resource to share? Please include your resource in the Comment Section below.

In Wake of Newtown Shootings Five Ways to Help Grieving Families After a Child Dies – The Compassionate Friends

 Guest Post: The Compassionate Friends

Source: http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Libraries/PDF/Newtown_Press_Release_2012.sflb.ashx

For Immediate Release

December 15, 2012

FROM: Wayne Loder, Public Awareness Coordinator

The Compassionate Friends

(Toll-free) 877-969-0010 / (Weekend) 248-684-4674

In Wake of Newtown Shootings Five Ways to Help Grieving Families After a Child Dies

Oak Brook, IL—When any child dies, it is a tragedy. But when a community, state, and nation is rocked by the deaths of 20 young children and eight adults, this becomes a time for everyone to pull together to help the grieving families.

“Only a parent who has lost a child can truly understand the devastating and life-changing effect this has on the families involved,” says Patricia Loder, Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends (TCF), the nation’s largest non-profit self-help support organization for bereaved families after the death of a child. There are more than 650 chapters in the United States that service all 50 states, plus Washington D.C., Puerto Rico, and Guam.

“It is said that for a parent, when a child dies, the future dies, too,” adds Mrs. Loder, herself a twice bereaved parent, as well as a bereaved sibling. “When this is multiplied by the grief of 20 families that lost young children, as in the Newtown tragedy, it is especially important that the community join together in any way possible to help the families that have been shattered. It’s important to remember that some of the adults who were killed also have parents and siblings who are grieving.”

According to Mrs. Loder, there are some universal pointers bereaved parents and siblings agree friends may want to keep in mind when trying to help the grieving families.

• Don’t try to find magic words that will take away the pain. There aren’t any. A hug, a touch, and the simple words “I’m sorry” can offer the most comfort.

• Don’t be afraid to cry. Those tears are a healthy release both for both you and the family, and a tribute to the child who died.

• Listen to what the parents and siblings have to say. Let them express their anger, their questions, the pain, and the disbelief they may be experiencing. Don’t discourage them from talking about their feelings. Remember that siblings are often considered the “forgotten mourners” and need to have their grief validated, too.

• Be there. Don’t say “call me if there is anything I can do.” That call will probably never come. Think of what the family needs to have done and offer to do specific tasks.

• As time passes, remember the child by sending a card to the family or calling on special days. A bereaved parent’s worst fear is that their child will be forgotten.

One of the most important points friends should remember, adds Mrs. Loder, is that there is no set timetable for grieving. “Some people believe healing starts the moment the family arrives home from the funeral. Bereaved parents and siblings are transformed into different people who will never be the same as they were. Grief doesn’t end in a week or a year, and it may never end. But the pain does get softer in time with the help of friends who care.”

There are 10 Connecticut chapters with the nearest in Danbury, Waterbury, and Bridgeport. The Compassionate Friends National Office is using an emergency fund, created for situations like this, to provide local chapters all grief materials necessary to help the grieving families in Newtown.

To learn more about The Compassionate Friends and its many programs for bereaved families, visit www.compassionatefriends.org and http://www.facebook.com/TCFUSA on Facebook or call toll-free 877-969-0010 during regular week-day office hours.

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Visit our website for resources on traumatic loss

Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting® – Sunday, December 9, 2012

Guest Post from Compassionate Friends

Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting®
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/News_Events/Special-Events/Worldwide_Candle_Lighting.aspx

Letter from TCF Executive Director on Worldwide Candle Lighting in Annie’s Mailbox December 2, 2012

The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor the memory of all children gone too soon.

This year’s event will be the 16th Worldwide Candle Lighting. The event grows larger every year thanks to the many people who see the need for services where none have existed. And as the word continues to spread to more of the bereaved who wish to celebrate lives gone too soon by lighting candles in their home, quietly, perhaps just with friends and family.

Now believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, the Worldwide Candle Lighting, a gift to the bereavement community from Compassionate Friends, creates a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. Hundreds of formal candle lighting events are held and thousands of informal candle lightings are conducted in homes as families gather in quiet remembrance of children who have died, but will never be forgotten.

The Worldwide Candle Lighting started in the United States in 1997 as a small Internet observance but has since swelled in numbers as word has spread throughout the world of the remembrance.

In 2011, information was submitted to TCF’s national website on services in 18 countries outside the United States including 550 services, as this special day continues to grow. TCF has been joined in recent years by chapters of several organizations including MISS, MADD, Parents of Murdered Children, SIDS Network, Gilda’s Club, Boys and Girls Clubs, and BPUSA and for several years services have been held in all 50 states plus Washington D.C. and Puerto Rico. There is no way to know how many hundreds of additional services open to the public are held in the U.S. and around the world each year without the information being sent to us.

The Compassionate Friends and allied organizations were joined in 2011 by local bereavement groups, churches, funeral homes, hospitals, hospices, children’s gardens, schools, cemeteries, and community centers. Services have ranged in size from just a few people to nearly a thousand.

Every year you are invited to post a message in the Remembrance Book which will be available, during the event, at TCF’s national website. In 2011 in that short one day span, more than five thousand messages of love were received and posted from every U.S. state and Washington D.C., every territory, as well as dozens of other countries, with some posts in foreign languages.

Here in the United States, publicity about the event is widespread, being featured over the years in Dear Abby, Annie’s Mailbox, Ann Landers column, Parade Magazine, Guidepostsmagazine, and literally hundreds of U.S. newspapers, dozens of television stations, and numerous websites and hundreds of personal blogs. Information on the Worldwide Candle Lighting and planned memorial candle lighting services (of which we are advised) is posted on TCF’s national website every year as the event nears.

View Dear Abby’s column from December 4, 2011 and read a letter from TCF’s Executive Director Pat Loder about what this event means to those who have suffered the tragic loss of a child.

If no Worldwide Candle Lighting service was held near you this year, please feel free to plan one open to the public this year or next year. You are welcome to use TCF’s “Suggestions to Help Plan a Memorial Service in Conjunction with The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting©”to help in planning the service. All allied bereavement organizations, churches, funeral homes, hospices, and formal and informal bereavement groups are invited to join in the remembrance. When you firm up plans for your candle lighting, open to the public, please return to this site and submit the event information form so TCF can list your service with the many hundreds held in the United States and around the world. The Worldwide Candle Lighting gives bereaved families everywhere the opportunity to remember their child(ren) . . . that their light may always shine!

WCL Press Release 10-17-2012

National Media Stories and Videos from before and after the 2012 Worldwide Candle Lighting

For More Holiday Grief Support Resouces, please visit our website at
http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/Holiday_Grief_Support.html

Thoughtful Sympathy Gift Ideas for the Holidays-Cyber Monday & Special Discounts throughout December!

Thoughtful Sympathy Gift Ideas for the Holidays

Special Savings for the Holidays on Black Friday, Cyber Monday and throughout December on select gift items.

Be sure to visit our Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts page on our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/gifts.html for special offers and
discount codes!

Christian Memorial Gifts
Gift Baskets & Food Gifts
Kindnotes
Memorial Ornaments
Memorial Quilts & ThrowsMemorial Trees & Flowers
Military Memorials GiftsMiscarriage/Stillbirth Memorial GiftsPersonalized Memorial Frames
Personalized gift items
Pet Memorials
Remembrance Candles
Unique Gift Items And More…

For Holiday Grief Support Resouces, please visit our website at
http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/Holiday_Grief_Support.html

Don’t Forget to Sign Up for our Free Monthly Newsletter ! http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com/mailinglist.html

Our Newsletter includes tips, articles and inspirational stories on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one. Plus You will receive my FREE Special Report, “Twenty-Five Supportive Things You Can Do For Someone That Has Lost a Loved One ~ Plus Ten Thoughtful Gift Ideas”

Interview with Sally Wagner, Organized Peace – Professional Organizer

Welcome Sally Wagner of Organized Peace.

Sally is a Professional Organizer and we are delighted that she has taken the time to provide us with her suggestions on how to assist a love one with re-organizing their home after the loss of a family member.   Please feel free to comment or share your own experiences in the comment section below.

And here is our interview with Sally Wagner…

After the loss of a loved one, people often don’t know where to start when going through their belongings.  What suggestions do you have on where to begin?

This is definitely a task that should be done with someone at your side.  Until a person has gone through the effort of releasing no longer needed items, it is hard to understand the emotions tied to them.  This is where we can really help.  A professional organizer can step you through the sorting process with sensitivity and empathy, while guiding you to completion.

Rearranging your life, including your home, after the loss of a spouse, parent or child is very emotional.   What are 2 or 3 strategies you can suggest to help ease someone into this process of giving away clothing and other items of the deceased?

• Evaluate the environment for the volume of things to be taken into consideration
• Determine what items can quickly be released – given to a family member, donated or tossed
• Evaluate the sensitive items and decide where they will go, or if certain items will just have to wait
• Set a future date to complete paperwork or decisions, if needed
• Put special items in a special place for memories

All of us have attachments to our “stuff”, what are some of the strategies you have used to assist your clients with easing through the process of letting go of the items in their home that they no longer need?

During the sorting process, many people will come to the conclusion that all of the items are not needed.  This is based on asking specific questions about what the item would be used for and how long it has been getting dusted.

Discuss the “real” value of items – furniture, clothing, old papers – 30 years of magazines usually have no value (comic books are another story)

Confirm that it is normal to have some attachment to stuff, but it might feel good to know that someone who really needed the donation could be found.

Date any boxes or items to see if they are touched in the next 6 to 12 months.  If not, reevaluate the “need”.

Why should you work with a professional organizer?  How does your service differ from just having family and friends help with reorganizing a home after the loss of a loved one?

The professional organizer will be able to work with you without the emotional attachment.  Of course this will be acknowledged, but having someone else manage the “plan” can be very helpful.  Friends and Family are great resources during the time of loss.  Frequently they are a welcome support in this process, but the professional organizer can lay out a plan, make appointments and provide a focus to getting this difficult job done.

Where do you recommend that people donate their extra home items and clothing?

I usually ask if they have specific organizations they would like to support, such as churches and family centers, or I recommend one that I use in the area.  Usually I will take the items with me, to avoid second decisions and having to re-think the same things.  Most people will feel a sense of relief for every box or bag they have sent off to help someone else.  And although it probably won’t seem important at the time, I will send along the tax deductible receipt.

How can your services benefit an elderly family member that is moving into a retirement home or someone that has lost a loved one? 

Frequently the family does not live in the same area or has difficulty taking extensive time off of work.  Also, elderly family members may feel they are being “pushed” to make the move for another person’s gain.  Having a professional organizer as the 3^rd party coordinating the move, takes some of the pressure off of the well intended family members.  The professional organizer can act as the mediator to accomplish the goals without all of the emotion.

I usually let elderly people know that I will be like their secretary or assistant for a short period of time.  This terminology lets them know that I respect their authority in the situation and plan to work hard to make them as comfortable as possible.

What about you stands out from other professional organizers?

I clearly understand the issues and emotions about “stuff”.  Most people have a lot to sort out because they have become overwhelmed by papers and things.  They don’t know where to start.  It is beautiful to have a complete clean and organized environment, but that takes time.  And the time it takes is different for everyone.  What makes me stand out from other professional organizers is my large family experience, business expertise and emotional background.  I work with people to find a process that is right for them.   By demonstrating how even one closet, box or drawer cleaned out can happen, people begin to open up and move in a positive direction.

About Sally Wagner & Organized Peace After 30 years in high tech, I wanted to take all the skills collected throughout my life and provide a service that would guide people to a more comfortable life.  Between positions, I planned to get all kinds of things done, but it only happened if a friend, sisters, brothers or parents came by to help.  I wondered if other people felt the same way and they did.  Having a schedule to do the project made all the difference in the world.  We got it done, and then we went to lunch.  Now that’s a plan!

There is huge satisfaction in a job well done and I frequently cheer with clients when we look at what has been accomplished.

To contact Sally Kane Wagner at Organized Peace, LLC, www.organizedpeace.com, skwagner@organizedpeace.com
703-608-6935

Sally Wagner work’s predominantly in the Northern Virginia area and is available by appointment.  If you are looking for a unique gift for a loved one, Sally also offers Gift Certificates throughout the year.

Mother’s Day Remembrance

Mother’s Day Remembrance
Tips on how to support a loved one who is grieving the loss of their mom on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day for many is a day of family celebrations. But for those of us whose mothers have passed away, Mother’s Day can be a day filled with sadness and longing to have one more day to spend with our mothers. 

If you have a friend or relative whose mother has passed away, here are a few suggestions on how to reach out to them on Mother’s Day.

1. Acknowledge the loss. Take a few minutes to let your friend know that you are thinking about them and remembering their loss by sending them a card or giving them a call on Mother’s Day.
2. Listen, Listen, Listen.One of the most important things you can do is to make yourself available and truly listen.
3. Don’t minimize the loss if they are older. Losing one’s mother is a significant loss, nomatter what age the person is when it occurs. Don’t trivialize the loss if the person is older.
4. Send a gift of remembrance. Consider sending a personalized gift that honors the memory of your friend’s mother. Some suggestions include: a personalized picture frame, a memory book with photos of their mother, a tree memorial they can plant in their garden, or a special piece of jewelry that reminds them of their mother. Click herefor more gift ideas.
5. Take them to their mom’s favorite place for brunch or to a special spot. Is there a place that they traditionally took their mom on Mother’s Day?
6. Send flowers.Consider sending them a bouquet of their mother’s favorite flowers and include a card with a message “Thinking of you and remembering your mom today.”
7. Write a tribute. If you knew their mom, write a tribute and send it with a card or if they have a memorial site, post it on the site on Mother’s Day.
8. Help them plan a Mother’s Day Memorial. Help create a day of celebration that friends and family can share stories and pictures that celebrate the life of the mother that has passed away.
9. Take them on an adventure.Holidays can be heavy, filled with a wide array of emotions. If your friend is up for an adventure, think of activities that will bring your friend joy. Go for a spa day, play a round of golf, take them to an amusement park, or go away for the weekend to a place they always wanted to go. Make it fun and stress free.
10. Respect their decision on how they would like to spend Mother’s Day. Understand that there will be times that your grieving friend may want to be alone or may want to completely ignore the day. There were many years that I would go to the beach by myself on Mother’s Day to be alone with my thoughts.

Holidays, like Mother’s Day, birthdays, and the anniversary of the person’s death can be difficult, particularly the first year. A simple act of kindness that is delivered with an open heart during these special occasions lets your loved one know they are not alone.

Do you have a special tradition or celebration that honors your mom’s memory on Mother’s Day? We would love to be able to share your story with our readers. Please email your story to us at info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com or include them in the comment section below.

Loss of a Parent
Resources on how to support a loved one grieving the loss of a parent.

Mother’s Day Remembrance Gifts
Loss of a child, Miscarriage/Stillborn, Loss of a Mother & Loss of a Grandmother

Visit our Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts page for a wide variety of sympathy gift ideas for your loved ones. We hope the thoughtful gifts listed on our website inspire you to give warmth and joy to your friends and family in their time of need.

©2012 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website created to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a loved one through the grieving process. If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a loved one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY

Irish Blessing

May you see God’s light on the path ahead
When the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear,
Even in your hour of sorrow,
The gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard may hardness
Never turn your heart to stone,
May you always remember
when the shadows fall—
You do not walk alone.

 

Widow/Widower Valentine’s Day Grief Support Resources

If you are a widow or widower or a friend looking for ways to help a grieving friend this Valentine’s Day, here are a few resources to explore:

Virtual Book Tour

Interview with Jennifer Hawkins – The Gift Giver

Interview with Pat Nowak – ABC’s of Widowhood

Interview with Ellen Gerst – Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story

Interview with Michael Corrigan – A Year and a Day

Interview with Carole Brody Fleet – “Widows Wear Stilettos: A Practical and Emotional Guide for the Young Widow”

Interview with Lori A. Moore – Missing Andy

Interview with Marcy Kelly – From Sorrow to Dancing

ARTICLES

Operation: Heaven Writings & Tips for Those Who Know Someone Who Has Lost Their Hero in the Military
by Taryn Davis – Founder/President, The American Widow Project

Five Things You Can Do for a Grieving Widow
by Marcy Kelly, Author of From Sorrow to Dancing

HAVE A “SINGLE-Y SENSATIONAL” VALENTINE’S DAY
by Carole Brody Fleet, Author of Widows Wear Stilettos

How to Date/Marry A Widow or Widower
by Ellen Gerst, Relationship Coach & Author of Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story

Valentine’s Day for Widows = No Valentine, Just Pain
by Marcy Kelly, Author From Sorrow to Dancing

Widowhood: A Time for Reinvention
by Ellen Gerst, Relationship Coach & Author of Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story

A Single Woman’s Adventures in Ballroom Dancing
by Marcy Kelly, Author From Sorrow to Dancing

Love After Loss – Writing the Rest of Your Story
by Ellen Gerst, Relationship Coach & Author of Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story

Valentine’s Day: The Best Way To Acknowledge It…Is To Acknowledge Others
by Widow Chick

Sh*t People Say to Widows (Video)
by Fresh Widow

GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS

American Widow Project The American Widow Project is a non-profit organization dedicated to the new generation of those who have lost the heroes of yesterday, today and tomorrow, with an emphasis on healing through sharing stories, tears and laughter………Military Widow to Military Widow.

Bubba’s Belly Run Bubba’s Run is a 5K run in honor and memory of Captain Brian “Bubba” Bunting’s race to grow his family and for the benefit of his children’s education. All proceeds generated from this race will be used to support Bubba’s children’s education, The Fisher House™, American Widow Project, and Flat Daddies.

Camp Widow™ is a weekend long gathering of widows from across the country, and around the world. We come together to create a community of people who understand the life altering experience of widowhood. Camp Widow™ provides practical tools, valuable resources, and peer-based encouragement for rebuilding your life in the aftermath of the death of a spouse.

Fresh Widow Young widowed Mom shares resources, ideas, humor, facts, perspective + energy for your path after loss.

Lost and Found Lighting the way to help you find renewal from personal loss
Ellen Gerst, Relationship Coach

Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation Welcome to the community at the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation. We work hard to provide a national network of support for anyone grieving the loss of someone they love–with a special emphasis on those who have been widowed. SSLF offers a variety of programs intended to connect our members for the two-fold purpose of providing peer based support opportunities, and connecting the many wonderful organizations that provide services offering comfort for those traveling the difficult journey of grief.
Widows to Young Helping widows under 50 continue to live.

Widows Wear Stilettos We are pleased to announce that we have formed Widows Wear Stilettos in-person support groups throughout the United States. There are NO CHARGES, FEES OR MEMBERSHIP DUES REQUIRED in order to attend any Widows Wear Stilettos in-person support group.

Widows Wear Stilettos is delighted to announce the formation of the “First Month” Foundation; a non-profit foundation that will be dedicated to providing specific financial assistance to the widowed.

WIDOWS MINISTRY IN RESPONSE to our God-given assignment, Widows International is raising Kingdom awareness by teaching, training and transforming the Body of Christ and the widow. Ever advancing, we provide resources through seminars, conferences on widowhood, speaking engagements, counsel, written materials, along with a residential program. Globally, Widows International in a cooperative effort with international and local ministries provides evangelistic rallies to care for and empower the widows to take their nation for Christ.

theWiddahood.com A free social support network dedicated to anyone who has suffered the loss of a significant other.

WidowChick Grief management through humor and coping using the power of positive thinking.

Young Widow Our mission is to provide a forum for young widows and widowers to connect online. Through these connections, young widows and widowers find understanding and validation of their feelings so that they are able to recover their joy for life, reclaim their identities and rebuild their futures.

I Did Not Know What To Say – Helpful Books

I Did Not Know What To Say – Grief Support Groups

Do you have a resource to share? Please include your resource in the Comment Section below.

Merry Christmas!

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! 
~Hamilton Wright Mabie

Christmas is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.
~Dale Evans

 

Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting® – Sunday, December 11, 2011 7pm

Guest Post from Compassionate Friends

Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting® 
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/News_Events/Special-Events/Worldwide_Candle_Lighting.aspx

 Hundreds of Open Services Now Being Planned for Worldwide Candle Lighting December 11 to Remember Children

 Anticipation of a very special and memorable day grows as the 15th Worldwide Candle Lighting December 11, 2011 nears. The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, creating a virtual wave of light, hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor the memory of children in a way that transcends all ethnic, cultural, religious, and political boundaries.

Now believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, the Worldwide Candle Lighting, a gift to the bereavement community from The Compassionate Friends, creates a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. Hundreds of formal candle lighting events are held and thousands of informal candle lightings are conducted in homes as families gather in quiet remembrance of children who have died, but will never be forgotten.

The Worldwide Candle Lighting started in the United States in 1997 as a small Internet observance but has since swelled in numbers as word has spread throughout the world of the remembrance.

In 2010, information was submitted to TCF’s national website on services in 15 countries outside the United States including more than 530 services, as this special day continues to grow. TCF has been joined in recent years by chapters of several organizations including MISS, MADD, Parents of Murdered Children, SIDS Network, Gilda’s Club, and BPUSA and for several years services have been held in all 50 states plus WashingtonD.C. and Puerto Rico. There is no way to know how many hundreds of additional services open to the public are held in the U.S. and around the world each year without the information being sent to us.

The Compassionate Friends and allied organizations were joined in 2010 by local bereavement groups, churches, funeral homes, hospitals, hospices, children’s gardens, schools, cemeteries, and community centers. Services have ranged in size from just a few people to nearly a thousand.

Every year you are invited to post a message in the Remembrance Book which will be available, during the event, at TCF’s national website. Last year in that short one day span, nearly five thousand messages of love were received and posted from every U.S. state and Washington D.C., every territory, as well as dozens of other countries, with some posts in foreign languages.

Here in the United States, publicity about the event is widespread, being featured over the years in Dear Abby, Annie’s Mailbox, Ann Landers column, Parade Magazine, Guideposts magazine, and literally hundreds of U.S. newspapers, dozens of television stations, and numerous websites and hundreds of personal blogs. Information on the Worldwide Candle Lighting and planned memorial candle lighting services (of which we are advised) is posted on TCF’s national website every year as the event nears.

View Dear Abby’s column from December 4, 2011 and read a letter from TCF’s Executive Director Pat Loder about what this event means to those who have suffered the tragic loss of a child. Here’s a news video posted December 8, 2011 about The Compassionate Friends and the Worldwide Candle Lighting by KLTV in Tyler,TX.

If no Worldwide Candle Lighting service was held near you last year, please feel free to plan one open to the public this year or next year. You are welcome to use TCF’s “Suggestions to Help Plan a Memorial Service in Conjunction with The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting©” to help in planning the service. All allied bereavement organizations, churches, funeral homes, hospices, and formal and informal bereavement groups are invited to join in the remembrance. When you firm up plans for your candle lighting, open to the public, please return to this site and submit the event information form so TCF can list your service with the many hundreds held in the United States and around the world. The Worldwide Candle Lighting gives bereaved families everywhere the opportunity to remember their child . . . that their light may always shine!

Media Stories and Videos on the 2010 Worldwide Candle Lighting

TCF 2010 Worldwide Candle Lighting Press Release (Oct. 6, 2010): Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting During Holiday Season Remembers All Children Who Have Died